Why are men so selfish sometimes? They never seem to put a high priority on their romantic relationships. They always put themselves first and don’t seem to notice or care when it hurts those around them, especially you. How are you supposed to put your man as your first priority when he is always thinking of himself? That’s totally not fair! If only you had a way to reverse his thinking and get it focused back on you…
Have you ever seen The Avengers? What could your man possibly have in common with Iron Man or Captain America? Well, beyond his devilish good looks of course, your man also has the same hero complex as the Avengers. He wants to have a sense of purpose, of meaning, of accomplishment, and that can seem completely selfish. But when you reframe that kind of thinking to reflect more on you and your relationship together, you can start to reverse his fear of commitment.
Your man’s fear of commitment rests on a biological male fear of failure. While men are naturally driven to seek out and achieve success, they are also naturally afraid of ruining this success. Your man is afraid of ruining a relationship with you. Rather than commit, he pulls away and tries to ignore this fear and in turn only ends up ignoring you. But don’t let this ruin your relationship. You want your relationship to be the success he seeks! He needs to be proud of you and your relationship together, and you also need to be proud of him. Break his fear of commitment and speak to your man’s inner hero by becoming the mirror through which he judges his own success.
It is in a man’s nature to be a hero. That is, your man is naturally going to be selfless and honorable when the opportunity arises. If you are sick of your man acting selfish and unappreciative, give him more opportunities to be your hero. Call on him when you need his help, more than just around the house, and seek him out for the hard kind of advice you need sometimes to make big life choices. When your man sees that you trust his guidance, he’s going to feel like your hero.
Your man is your hero, isn’t he? And you’d like him to stay that way. But he’s never going to know he’s the hero if you don’t tell him! Don’t talk to him about big, scary words like “commitment” or “forever”. Instead, talk to him about how much you need him. Remind him of how proud you are to be his lady. Bring up each and every triumph he has achieved during the length of your relationship, and then remind him of all the times he helped you succeed. When you tell him that your own success is because of his support, you’ll tap into your man’s natural instincts and charge his hero complex.